A dose of reality!

I joined a support group for Lincoln. It is a great group and great to have questions answered by people who have or are going through the same thing as I am. I don't post much, as I am a shy member, but I do reply to people when I have gone through the same situation and have asked a few questions. Sometimes I have to wonder if it is good for me though. I am an optimist, I like to believe the best! so when I am forced to come to reality, it is a hard pill to swallow. Even when Lincoln is in the hospital having a surgery I seem to have no problem believing he is going to come out just fine, sometime I think I take everything for granted. Well I had a reality check! A member from the group, who was not a shy member, sent a post. Her little man about 14 months, who was doing just fine, no unordinary problems, just passed away. He was staying with his grandparents while his parents went out of town. He started acting different and fussy, so his grandparents decided to take him to the emergency room; he stopped breathing on the way to the hospital and they couldn't revive him. Cause: He got a stomach infection and his heart wasn't strong enough to fight it. Oh, how my heart goes out to them. Your Legacy will always be remembered little Seamus.


It is a hard pill to swallow. I have to realize that just because Lincoln is doing so well, doesn't mean he is or ever will be safe. Unfortunately my son's heart will never be whole, it will never be "fixed." He has half a heart. He has been "rewired" to live on one ventricle. His heart could decide to peeter out at any moment. Any little infection, trauma, or illness could take my baby from me. He does need additional surgeries and /or a heart transplant in the future. There is not a fix for Hypo-plastic Left Heart Syndrome. It is easy to take health for granted, but I have to realize that I can't take Lincoln's health for granted.
So that all said, am I supposed to live in fear every day wondering if today is my last day with him? I don't think I want to dwell on that at all. I do have to be more careful with Lincoln, but If I was in a constant state of worry; I do not feel I would be able to enjoy and rejoice in his life. I do not want him to feel different than the other kids, and I do not want to turn him into a wounded Duck. So even though believing that he is a super hero may be over the top and leave me vulnerable to great sorrow, I choose to take the road of the optimist, but I do have to admit a dose of reality is also good for me.
(who knows, he just have to hold on till the Savior comes, and that's my final take on things.)